A bereavement

It is somewhat surreal to be considering one’s own resilience and wellbeing and then to be confronted with a sudden passing, albeit of someone who has had a good and fulfilling life.

81 years is no longer ‘old’, but my father went out on a high note, still actively involved with life; before perhaps prolonged hospitalization. A fine result for him, but the suddenness makes it harsh for those closest to him. That we can properly celebrate his ‘complete’ lifespan isn’t an immediate help to the intensity of sadness, other than in blunt comparison to those we have known and loved where we did not have that luxury.

With the loss of one’s first parent, it forces the consideration of things which we consider so stable in life. Our existence is fragile or robust depending on the illusion we create for ourselves.

I’ve been trying to think about the continuum; the healing that the Cart Shed can perhaps offer to move people along that continuum. Searching on the web, it is interesting that lots of imagery comes up for ‘anguish’ and for depression; less so for ‘pain’.

I’ve set up a pinterest page here which has some interesting imagery from painters, photographers and sculptors – these are useful to me to see how complex feelings have been portrayed in the past – which seem forced; which seem honest or truthful. What formal characteristics are considered to convey such emotional distress.

For the sculpture, I need to seek simple words which people association with feeling low, empty or and powerless, through depression, grieving or illness – and also those words or doodles which might show the beginnings of a change in that state. As well as the mere passing of time, what other things are contributive?

Clearly, I cannot make a successful sculpture on my own. And until I’m back in the Herefordshire woods in October, I will not start to do anything but think.



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